The Liquor Cabinet

It seems as if one of the requirements for being in college is publishing your entire life’s details on Facebook. That guy Jenny met for a brief five minutes at the party last weekend, your partner on a class paper, even your local bartender. If you’ve been around them in life, chances are you’ve looked them up. But do you know the origins of Facebook? How exactly did Mark Zuckerberg come up with the idea? The answer might not be what you think.

The base of the idea for Facebook was thought of on October 28th, 2003. It was a Tuesday night and Zuckerberg was sitting at his computer, apparently drunk, writing in his blog. He was looking at various students photos posted on the schools network, amazed at just how ugly some of the kids at Harvard were.

I’m a little intoxicated, not gonna lie. So what if it’s not even 10pm and it’s a Tuesday night? What? The Kirkland facebook is open on my computer desktop and some of these people have pretty horrendous facebook pics. I almost want to put some of these faces next to pictures of farm animals and have people vote on which is more attractive. It’s not such a great idea and probably not even funny, but Billy comes up with the idea of comparing two people from the facebook, and only sometimes putting a farm animal in there. Good call Mr. Olson! I think he’s onto something.

So amazed at this fact, he wanted to compare all the students to farm animals. Thats right. The very social network you’re a part of was originally rooted in an application to compare you to a horses ass. From here Zuckerberg proceeded to scan and download every publicly available student photo from the network to begin coding his application.

Eventually, this application would evolve into something called ‘FaceMatch’. This program would put two peoples pictures side by side, and let you click on which one was more attractive. It would then aggregate all the data and rank each person from most attractive to least attractive.

This application got Zuckerberg in a bit of hot water with the administration at Harvard. In the eyes of Harvard, Zuckerberg didnt have legal permission to use everyones photos. Since Harvard’s network was technically private, the ‘Ad Board’ at Harvard did the next worst thing to being expelled.

Read the rest of this entry »

I dont really know what to say about this one. Apparently after a ‘four day drug spree’ this girl decides to go crazy in the Quad at Santa Cruz. You know what this girl needs that there is plenty of in California? Sun. I thought everyone in California was tan? Oh well, college is about experimentation and finding yourself, right?

A couple of us were out there talking to her earlier but she was too messed up and crazy so we let her be.
and the songs she was listening to were satisfaction and ecstasy.

In the last few years it seems that being a teacher and sleeping with your students is the ‘in’ thing to do. So we compiled a list of some of the hottest teachers to, ahem, inappropriately relate with their students.

Cameo Patch
Age at time of offense: 29
Location: Toole County, UT

Occupation: Substitute Teacher
Lover: 17 year-old male student
Crime: Performing oral sex on a minor. Charged with unlawful sexual conduct and lewdness
Sentence: $2000 fine, 36 months probation and ordered to obtain a psycho-sexual evaluation.

Angela Comer
Age at time of offense: 26
Location: Kentucky

Occupation: Middle School Math Teacher
Lover: 14 year-old male student
Crime: Fled the country with a 14-year-old lover and her four-year-old son.
Sentence: Indicted by a grand jury in Kentucky on felony custodial interference, two counts of third-degree sodomy and four counts of unlawful transaction with a minor relating to sexual acts.

Read the rest of this entry »

We woke up this morning to a flurry of popular photoshopped images of Obama based upon this photo from a Reuters article.  They’re scattered about, and we dont know who made them, but they’re pretty awesome

Original(titled ‘cool’)

 

Then this one came out, titled ‘Cooler’.

 

Followed by ‘Coolest’

 

And then XKCD chimed in, and called this one ‘coolest-est’.

 

And finally we give you ‘Coolest est est’.  We see a theme here.  A theme of awesome.

 

 

About six weeks ago the sign on the right popped up in a yard that said “John Lebron at 3006 is a felon on probation”. 3006 is the address of the house next door. About three days later, a crudely drawn sign appeared in the yard of 3006 that said “This is true. I was a drug addict, but have been saved by Jesus Christ, my Savior”. That sign lasted only a few days and was eventually replaced by the sign you see here on the left which reads “Our neighbor is impotent and can’t have children”.